Over the next few months I plan on adding some personal blog posts in amongst my writing blog posts. A little insight into the life and experiences of K.J.
This post is a bit of fun. I have chosen five experiences from my life that I can tick off my checklist, but I will most definitely NOT be doing again.
Rock Climbing/ Cliff Climbing
I’m not sure of the exact name of this activity, but it involved a cliff face, an obstacle course built into the cliff face, a rope threaded over and under said obstacles, and me attached to the end of it. I went into this activity full of confidence after having a blast on a zip wire that stretched from one cliff face to another. The cliff course, however, got the better of me.
My legs turned to jelly, and I had never realised how exhausting it is being physically petrified. Half way up the course I froze for at least two minutes. Other climbers had made it to the top in less than one minute. Then, once I had finally got myself going again, I slipped and ended up with bloody elbows, and the poor instructor had to pull my dead weight up the cliff face. When I asked him what my time was, he simply replied, “I have no idea, Sweetheart. I stopped the timer after seven minutes”…oops.
When I say I will never do paintballing again, I must clarify that I mean I will never do ‘Free For All’ paintballing again.
I was a bad shot and a lousy hider, so I pretty much sucked at paintballing, and I was left with a lot of ammo at the end of the game. The martials suggested we use up what ammo we had left in a ‘free for all’ match. Each man/woman for themselves, and no rules apply (except no deliberate head shots).
My naïve self, a paintball virgin before that day, joined in. I was shot at point blank range in the back of my thigh and ankle. Wow- the pain was unreal. I literally crawled, ‘Saving Private Ryan’ style behind a barrel and stayed there until the final klaxon.
It wasn’t until I got in the shower that I noticed the biggest bruise I have ever had. This was eight years ago, and I have still not topped that bruise. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the size of a side plate, with a perfect circle in the middle of it. It took weeks for it to fade.
As all teens do (or at least did when I was at school), I tried my first cigarette. One word to describe the experience- vile. I didn’t inhale properly, more like swallowed the smoke, which resulted in me gagging my guts up.
Even brushing my teeth after didn’t take the ash tray taste away. I can remember thinking to myself, ‘Scientists say it takes more than one cigarette to get someone addicted. Why are people forcing themselves to endure more than one of these disgusting things?’
I still don’t understand it.
PanoraMagique Balloon Experience- Disney Land.
Yes, I mean the air balloon on an electric winch. I can tell you right now that a real one is out of the question!
Again, I thought I’d enjoy it, so I gave it a bash, but no, it was terrifying. I spent the whole time clinging so tightly to the side that my knuckles turned white. My other half got some cracking pictures of Disney land, but otherwise, I was traumatised.
Do It Yourself Eye Brow Waxing
When I was fourteen I decided that it was time to shape my eyebrows properly. To be honest they did look like they were about to crawl off my face, but I was young and stupid, and thought waxing my own eyebrows would be a piece of cake.
Back in 2000… (cough). It seemed to be the rage for teenage girls to shape their eyebrows into thin lines with a rounded bit where they meet the nose. I call it the sperm effect eyebrow because that is basically what they looked like.
For reasons I can not fathom now, I too wanted that eyebrow style. So, I bought a wax set and set about it. The more I waxed one eyebrow the more I had to do the other to make it match. It was a vicious circle. I was left with insanely thin, sperm effect eyebrows and a constant look of surprise.
My advice to anyone looking to wax their own eyebrows- GO PRO!
I’d be interested to hear other blogger’s top five experiences they’ll never repeat again…